The year of...
I'm sitting here, trying to find some introspection, and coming up empty. I'm perfectly aware that there have been exceptional and extraordinary events that have taken place in 2005, but it's hard to verbalise a feeling. This was the year of...Sarah. This was the culminating moment of 2005. I can't even cute this up because it was so horrible and it is still so sad. I rang in the new year with Sarah and I remember vividely waking up at 2pm, having a non descript pseudo lunch/dinner/tea at Mikado and watching Closer before parting ways. It was perfect. New Year's Eve and Christmas is the last remaining tradition that goes broken. We were never alwas able to spend the two holidays together, but we always made another one up, just so we could celebrate with one another. When it becomes February, it will have been a year since I've seen her and all the memories and traditions will start over and there will be nothing new. I think of private joke that started in grade 8 - I started to write to her as Sawah and she would write to me as Jawyce. No one else ever referred to us by those nicknames and no one else will again. The birth of those nicknames were never fully revealed, not out of secrecy, but because everyone always assumed the story and it became an inside joke. I know I'm quite the eager storyteller, but I think I'll keep this one. Just between us. This was the year of...Yoga. My body and my mind have become dependent in my practice and I credit Ashtanga in helping with so many aspects of my life. This year I finally learned the full primary series and I've never felt such self satisfaction, nor have I discovered such humility. I watch other practitioners and realise how far I still need to go, but I remember my first practice when I stumbled through the standing postures and can now confidently announce that I am proud of myself. This was the year of...friendships. Friendship isn't always easily described. The Eskimos, they say, have a hundred different words for snow. Unfortunately, the English language isn't quite as innovative, though it has vast opportunities to differentiate meaning. Certainly, Love is one of those opportunities. And so, too, is Friendship. Society and mores (and often our own conscience) dictate we select a single mate. But our friends can be as diverse and infinite as the adjectives we choose. Our friends, in a very real sense, reflect the choices we make in life. I have been blessed by the people that I am surrounded with and this year was marked by loss, but there was also a lot of renewal, a lot of strengthening and full of discovery. To those who fit in each category, I love you. Happy New Year. *I need to pay a special tribute to some individuals who have been with me during this incredibly tempestuous holiday season. To those who have had to endure many tantrums, jeans being thrown and doors being slammed along with storms of tears, sleepless nights and random emotional outbursts - thank you. I am incredibly grateful and completely indebted to your hugs, your words and your love.
